You were Never in my Christmas

This is the time of the year when everybody feels extra sentimental about everything.
This is the time of the year when absence is intensified by Christmas Carols.
This, for the last four years, has been the time of the year that I include one particular wish to my list and wait in vain for it to happen.

A year ago, I would have been glad for a simple text message from you.
A year ago, I would have felt "kilig" to read (since it seems to be a huge "imposition" to hear from you) your unfeeling, pretentious greeting.
A year ago, I would have given anything to bring everything back to how it used to be.

It is amazing what 365 days and nights can do to your life.

Now, everytime I remember how lonely I was whenever you ignore me, I laugh.
Now, you can try your hardest to make me feel out-ouf-place on every high school gathering for all I care.
You can even continue to boast about some skinny, little, fair-complexioned, stupid-girl you say you are currently "on" with.
Now, you can freely feel good about yourself for hurting me.

Because I Don't Give A Damn Anymore.

It feels so good to say these words and finally Mean it.
It feels so good to have what I have lost in myself back.
I laugh.
I smile.

I think about the last Christmas that I allowed myself to be lonely because of you. How stupid was I to let you ruin this time of the year when I should celebrate about life?

Well, that won't ever happen again. I won't let it.

You were never in my Christmas anyway.